so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
