After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
