I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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