I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
