remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
