I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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