the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
