I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
