I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize