We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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