I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
