you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
