Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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