I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
