I skipped work to stalk him.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
