And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
