Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
