I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
