I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
