I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
