Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
