Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
