Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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