Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
