I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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