So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize