a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize