D3 body, D1 cock
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
