Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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