Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
