Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
