You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
