well I can't set my house on fire every night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
