who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize