I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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