but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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