I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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