can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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