There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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