Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
