Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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