It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
