Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
