So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
