absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize