Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is wine microwaveable?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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