he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
