And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
