my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize