that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
