forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
