Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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