guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We left the knife in your bed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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