I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
