we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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