Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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