can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
