did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
