I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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