i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
