this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
