So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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