Where is the hickey?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
