let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sober January is a disaster.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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